O Davey Boy.....

Brilliantly hilarious image courtesy of Tacony Gear. 

 “It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.” ― William Blake 

Dear Mr. Toledo, (Actually, can I call you David? I mean you were so chummy with the media and I'm kind of the bastard cousin of the media so you know what? I will just take as many liberties as you allegedly did with the tires in the Mayfair area and call you David. Thanks.)

Do you like that Blake quote? I think it's actually perfect for this situation. I mean, how true is that? You sort of expect a certain level of betrayal from an enemy but from a supposed friend and neighbor? Well, that one is a bit harder to swallow. I'm going to do a little piece that I want to call The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly. Basically, it's the angel and the devil side of me duking it out regarding this whole tire-slasher arrest situation. I'm going to try to keep this as professional as possible however I think the level of frustration with this situation deserves some sort of response. Whether it's dignified or not is up to the perception of the reader.

Topic Number One: Your Actions and the Repercussions 

The Good: Maybe a little time in a quiet cell will actually make you contemplate and realize the level of betrayal felt by your neighbors. I truly hope that if you are guilty you get the help you need and take responsibility for your actions. I hope you actually take ownership of what YOU did and not blame it on the fact that maybe you didn't get enough hugs as a kid or whatever other excuse you use to justify in your mind why you essentially held an anxious neighborhood hostage for several weeks and made many of them spend their hard earned money replacing the tires on their cars numerous times over.

The Bad: There are so many clinical terms I could throw out there (occupational hazard with a Master's in psychology). You appear to have some ego gratification issues, a definite personality disorder (if not several) and some pretty serious attention-seeking behaviors. I wouldn't necessarily call you a sociopath until we spent a little more clinical therapy time together since they are pretty rare. I'm sure there are plenty of other people in Mayfair who would like to "spend some time" in a room with you too although I'm pretty sure it wouldn't involve a couch or talking about your feelings (unless of course people were actually beating you with that couch.) Well congratulations, buddy. I think it's safe to say that you'll be getting plenty of attention in jail. Mainly in your butt. Have fun.

The Ugly: Batcrap crazy + anal violation = You.

Topic Number 2: Your very public claims of being a part of town watch and other neighborhood organizations. (I'm here to tell you, I took that one pretty personal.)

The Good: Imagine if you channeled all of that negative energy and negative behavior into actually doing some good for the community like many of us do instead of just CLAIMING that you did it? I'm pretty sure you don't realize how hard some of the people in this community work, take pride in their homes or businesses, and then also volunteer their time whether it be to coach a kids sports team, do civic work, help out with a religious organization, or even drive their elderly neighbor to the store. Many of us are proud to call Mayfair and the Northeast home even though Philadelphia Magazine and countless other pretentious zip codes like to take a regular dump on who and what they think living in the Northeast is. Thank you so much for publicly confirming their stereotypes regarding the Northeast with your ridiculously idiotic behavior.

The Bad: You know what we don't need? Dumb-asses like you pooping all over the good work of the neighbors of Mayfair, the Northeast and any other person who chooses to use their time helping others. You make my skin crawl when I think about the potential damage you have done to the image of this neighborhood. You claimed to be looking out for the neighborhood and proclaimed to every news camera that you were able to shove your face in front of that essentially these tire slashings were a disgrace. When you weren't in front of a news camera you were behind the scenes thumbing your nose at the 15th police district, the entirety of Mayfair, Tacony and Holmesburg and the entire city of Philadelphia. You know what's a bigger disgrace? The fact that every time you opened your mouth you did a little bit more damage to this community. If I had the chance I would probably have all the people in Mayfair form a line so they could either punch you in the face or kick you in the groin.

The Ugly: F**K YOU.

Topic Number 3: Tainting the jury pool (Tooooo late!!) 

The Good: You are innocent until proven guilty and I hope our justice system dishes out what you deserve. Harshly.

 The Bad: I may be tainting the jury pool with this blog (even though I think that's pretty much been done already) but I think I can safely say there is no way anyone with a 19149 or 19136 zip code will be allowed on your jury when you do go to trial. I'm pretty sure a jury of your actual peers would include a monkey eating it's own feces, all the inhabitants of the Island of Misfit Toys, and some kind of a Gary Busey/Charlie Sheen mutation.

 The Ugly: Street justice has never looked so good.

 So what have we learned? There will always be people working against all the good done in this community. Wolves in sheep's clothing will always be waiting in the wings and betrayal comes in many forms; even shockingly, as we found out, in the form of a friend or neighbor. So what do we do? Give up? Throw our hands up in the air and dramatically say "All is lost? Retreat!!". No. The lesson we need to take from all of this is to not let this very public act of betrayal undo all the good that is done and let it tarnish who we are as a neighborhood. The good people truly outnumber the bad but unfortunately the bad ones sell more newspapers. We are Mayfair and we will remain unified.