Monday, June 25, 2012

This Week in Mayfair (06/25/12)

It seems like everyone is in full vacation mode this week! You're either currently away basking in the sunshine or eagerly awaiting your impending vacation by using your work time to browse the local interests, community calendars, look at pictures of the room you'll spend no time in except to sleep/pass out, and shop for a new bathing suit (thong obviously). Or you're like me having just returned from a vacation and wishing you had actually taken 2 weeks instead of just a week. And of course you were greeted by about 8 million emails and voicemails which you are now plodding through on this Monday morning made more horrible by the fact that you aren't on vacation anymore. Do me a favor though, if you aren't on vacation yet don't do what I did once. I was sitting lakeside in Maine (to answer your question, of course I was dressed like Jackie O) and I made the mistake of answering my phone thinking it was someone else when in fact, it was my boss. WTF? She then took my answering the phone as permission to call me for the rest of the week to leave me voicemails asking me questions about work while all I was trying to do was forget about work. So I did what any normal, well-adjusted human being would do....I chucked the phone in the lake. Then I realized it was a company phone. Oops.

Suck it corporate America.

So for all of us who are still stuck in this burg for a little while longer, hold fast! There are plenty of things to occupy your time while waiting to cross off one more day on your desk calendar.

Most importantly this Saturday, 6/30 starting at 9am, an offshoot of the Mayfair Civic Association, the Mayfair Clean-up Committee is hosting the first neighborhood clean-up.The clean-up was organized by local Mayfair neighbor, James Ortlieb after deciding that he was going to take matters into his own hands and help make our neighborhood look great. James has organized a clean-up of the Frankford Business Corridor from Harbison to Rhawn Street and is still in need of volunteers. All supplies will be provided by CLIP and water has been generously provided by MBA member Shop N Bag. Interested in signing up or helping out for a couple of hours? Here's a link to the official Facebook page for more information! First Annual Frankford Avenue Clean-up

On Wednesday night, you can always head to The Grey Lodge Pub for Quizzo from 8 till whenever they run out of questions. First prize is a $25 bar tab and second prize is a round of drinks for your 4 person team. Of course you can always get a head start working on your tolerance for vacation by visiting Scoats and crew every night this week where they will feed you fabulous food using the freshest ingredients and allow you to imbibe in some of the finest craft beers known to man. They are experts in the art of hops and barley and are always willing to recommend a beer based on your tastes without making your feel like an idiot (Trust me. I ask REALLY dumb questions. They never laugh at me.). Approachable beer connoisseurs they are; beer snobs they are not.
This judgmental fellow will not be found at the GL!

There are so many things in Philly to keep you occupied while you're waiting to board your plane to paradise. Occupy yourself for a couple hours by taking your chance  to yell "CHOOOOOOOOCH!!!" in person at a Phillies game. As always, Mike Perzel of the Perzel Agency is still running his special featuring the boys of summer.  Get a quote on your personal insurance (Auto, Home, Renters, Life) to be entered to win seats (Section 131, Row 5--game to be determined) at The Perzel Agency. While there, don't forget your $5.00 Wawa Gift Card. Just make sure you mention the MBA! All MBA members also qualify for a $25.00 Amazon Gift Card for getting a quote on your Business Insurance. No Purchase Necessary must be 18 years or older.

Well, you're about 10 minutes closer to your vaca now that you've read this blog. Here are some vacation inspired videos for you to waste more of your time;

For your mom, and my friend Frank, and what the hell, for me....I love the Go-go's:
Vacation by the Go-go's

For you courteous youngsters who like to blast music in your car that rattles the windows of those living 3 blocks away. We all LOVE you so much. So much, that we hope your non-existent brains won't get blown out the back of your head by your bass one day. NSFW!
Young Jeezy

For those of you with a great sense of humor. One of my all time favorites. NSFW!!
I got my flippy floppies


Monday, June 18, 2012

This Week in Mayfair (06/18/12)

So last week I lived up to my name and was M.I.A. I got caught up in a tornado of crazy last week and by the time I realized it, it was Wednesday and I hadn't done "This Week in Mayfair". I know, minions, I know...hush now...I'm back. I know you were a ball of confusion and butthurt last week because you didn't know what was going on and you wondered if the world was truly coming to an end like the muthaeffin Mayans predicted. It's all good in the hood. Mama's back. Truth: I was in rehab! Squeaky clean sober as La Lohan!! Holla!!

Unfortunately for me and my new-found sobriety, I will have to avoid locations like the Grey Lodge Pub and their Wednesday night Quizzo from 8-10. This makes me very sad....very sad. I am no longer able to publicly crow about my blinding brilliance and wear my "Vat of Useless Information" t-shirt. I will however, make myself available for you to call me as a Quizzo life-line while I sit on my couch thumbing my prayer beads and chain-smoking Camels unfiltered. Also you MUST bring me duck spring rolls and sweet potato fries. These are my terms. Accept or get pwned by that group of nerds at the next table who brave real social interaction by interrupting their Everquest raids to crawl out of their mom's basement and hiss at any remaining daylight on Wednesdays.

Good news! I can still go to Phillies games because God knows there's no beer or temptation there....oh wait...Demon liquor is everywhere!!

Well, I guess that just increases your odds of winning Mike Perzel and the Perzel Agency's Phillies ticket giveaway. Get a quote on your personal insurance (Auto, Home, Renters, Life) to be entered to win seats (Section 131, Row 5--game to be determined) at The Perzel Agency. While there, don't forget your $5.00 Wawa Gift Card. Just make sure you mention the MBA! All MBA members also qualify for a $25.00 Amazon Gift Card for getting a quote on your Business Insurance. No Purchase Necessary must be 18 years or older.

I can go enjoy music at the Pennypack  Park Music Festival because there's no beer or temptation there either. Pffffffff.....HAHAHAHAHAHA! Couldn't keep a straight face. Alright, I guess I'll have to listen to the Beatles Tribute, Revolve and 2U, a U2 tribute band with my car window down and a red solo cup full of water somewhere around the Welsh Road bridge by Judge.

I'm left with no other choice then to go haunt my local support groups like Marla Singer.

Monday, June 4, 2012

This Week in Mayfair (06/04/12)

What did you do on this gorgeous weekend? I'll tell you what I did! But first I need to share this picture with you:

Grey Lodge Pub owner, Mike "Scoats" Scotese, being handed the Hammer of Glory by Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter.
It's times like these that I wish I knew a little bit about Photoshop so I could have a lot of fun with this picture but alas, my skills are laughably pathetic.

If I had even a modicum of talent I could have put Scoats and the Mayor in the following pictures.
Wow. Just wow.

or this one (of COURSE Nutter would be Ron Burgandy because I would only have to get rid of the bottom part of the facial hair--I don't even know how to Photoshop and I'm already looking for lazy shortcuts. Scoats? Brian Fantana. Duh.)

Honestly, you can't go wrong either way with this picture.

This would have been the pièce de résistance...Nutter as God handing Scoats the HOG. 

Honestly, it's probably a good thing I don't learn Photoshop because then I would spend all my time Photoshopping myself and my friends into random pictures that only a select few would find funny. Like this for example:
Milt, thou shall wear the scarlet letters "M.W" to pay for thy sin of "Media Whoring" thyself.

That's just Microsoft Paint and I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I'm now the target of the entire Mayfair Town Watch team. Hahahaha! Nah. Milt and I are buddies (at least we were prior to this post) and he knows it's all in good fun (it's all in good fun, Milt!!). But be warned, what I lack in Photoshop skills I make up for with my mad ninja skills. So if you think you can come at me with all your forces, I have a blow-dart with each of your names on it (ninjas use blow-darts, right? I mean...of COURSE ninjas use them!). So BRING IT!

So now that we know that Scoats is rubbing elbows and hammers with Philadelphia elites I guess we can rest easy that the Northeast is in good hands. But pray tell, what is actually going up here in our neck of the woods? Hang on, let me put down my katana sword so I can type.

Philly Beer Week is still being celebrated at the Grey Lodge Pub. I'll give you a quick rundown of all the brewers that will be on hand this week but since I've devoted over 3/4 of this post already to Scoats and the GL, I'll refer you to their events page for more details. (Greedy Scoats, taking all the Mayfair attention...just because you and Mayor Nutter are BFF's!!! Tell him I said "Hi" and that I have a Northeast Dog Park thing I want to talk with him about....what? It's politics man!)

Monday, June 4--5:00pm
Philly Beer Week: You Don't Know Dick!... But You Will. Takin It Easian with Elysian
Tuesday, June 5
7:00pm--Philly Beer Week: Three Bourbons, Three Scotches, Five Beers, the song stylings of Lew Bryson
Wednesday, June 6
4:00pm--Philly Beer Week: Getting Heavy with Green Flash's Chuck Silva
6:00pm--Philly Beer Week: Who Put Hops in My Cider??? I Want to Thank Them
Thursday, June 7
10:00am--Philly Beer Week: Get Yer Fill of Pils
Friday, June 8
5:00pm--Philly Beer Week: Neshaminy Creek Now Flowing
7:00pm--Philly Beer Week: Dogfish Head White Lodge + Black Lodge = Grey Lodge
9:00pm--Philly Beer Week: Belgium Comes From Manayunk
Saturday, June 9
5:00pm-- Double/Doppel/Dubbel Your Fun with Shawnee

Now that I'm finished talking all about the Grey Lodge I can move onto the other businesses in the hood. Specifically, The Perzel Agency, Mike Perzel and his fine staff! Mike is still giving away the chance for Phillies tickets. Get a quote on your personal insurance (Auto, Home, Renters, Life) to be entered to win seats (Section 131, Row 5--game to be determined) at The Perzel Agency. While there, don't forget your $5.00 Wawa Gift Card. Just make sure you mention the MBA! All MBA members also qualify for a $25.00 Amazon Gift Card for getting a quote on your Business Insurance. No Purchase Necessary must be 18 years or older.

Oh yeah...I almost forgot! What did I do this weekend? Not much except I spent my Saturday afternoon hanging out at the Saturday in the Park Summer Slam Jam in Pennypack Park, listening to some great music, enjoying the gorgeous weather, and hanging out with many of the coolest people in Mayfair from the Mayfair CDC, Mayfair Business Association, Mayfair Memorial Playground and the Mayfair Town Watch. MTW hosted a "Thank You" picnic for it's members and it was a great time (props to Milt, VP Anna Stacey and her hubby Kenn for putting it all together and feeding us)!! Seriously, if you haven't come down to one of the shows at the Pennypack bandshell, this is the summer to do it! It's a great crowd, great vibe, family friendly and some of the best people watching ever!! I highly recommend it! Here's the link to their Facebook page with the line-up of the rest of the summer concerts. Pennypack Park Music Festival