Monday, August 27, 2012

This Week in Mayfair (8/27/12)

Things I will never get:
1. A diamond and sapphire tiara.
2. The appeal of Adam Levine (I reeeeealllly don't get it.  He sounds like his pants are too tight. Which they are. He probably has a real deep baritone but when he crams into the pants? Boom! Instant falsetto.)
3. A penguin (Scratch that. I will TOTALLY get a penguin. They are so CUTE. Damn greedy zoos and aquariums keeping them all to themselves. *shakes fist in the general vicinity of penguin keepers*)
Resistance is futile.
Yes, I'd like one ticket to Table Mountain National Park. And I'll need a car apparently....penguins like cars.

4. A good night's sleep ever again now that my youngest (a.k.a Neutron Bomb. The oldest's nickname is King Boo Boo, in case you were wondering) is in a Big Boy Bed (BBB).

But the true question remains; will I never get sleep again because he now has nothing to contain him or I will I lie awake at night imagining all the horrible ways he could potentially perish? We had to completely proof the room again; brackets on the backs of the dresser and bookshelf, an out of reach lock on the closet in his room that doesn't always stay closed, and the all important doorknob protectors so the little angel can't get out. We also made sure that the screws holding the air conditioning unit in his window were tamper proof and tightened.  The only way he might potentially achieve harm is by giving himself a papercut with all the books in his room. Sounds pretty safe right? Wrong.

Here's what I imagine:
Neutron Bomb (NB) awakens at 5am, is entertained by the bucket of Hot Wheels in his BBB for oh, about 5 minutes. He jumps on the mattress for awhile, perilously close to bouncing his little blonde ass completely out of the bed and into the ER with a broken neck/fractured skull/broken limb.

Want to waste some more time at work? Type in "hotel bed jumping pictures" into Google image search.
 He then proceeds to climb up the dresser to the bookshelf and hang out on the top shelf for awhile, swinging his legs, his adorable little face inches from the ceiling fan. He gets bored and shockingly climbs down. He then decides to play mailman with all his books and shove them under the space in his door out into the hallway so either his father or I can slip on them and break a hip while in a sleep-daze. He can only fit so many under the door until there is a log jam. He also has so many books shoved under the door that there is no possible way we can open it to get to him unless the fireman come with the jaws of life (NB loves firefighters so this would just be an added bonus to his morning). He finds the bucket o' Hot Wheels again and makes a decision to throw them from his bed into the ceiling fan where they become little metal missiles that ricochet around the room, breaking his windows and leaving car-shaped holes in the walls. He finds this hilarious until one of them hits him in the eye and he has to wear an eye patch for the rest of his life. His parents take this in stride and come up with a list of Halloween costumes incorporating the eye-patch ad nauseum.
Nick Fury. We might need to hit the tanning booth a little for this one.

Snake Plissken

Captain Ron a.k.a. "Kurt Russell has a serious thing for eye patches."

Elle Driver

David Bowie. Still undecided as to whether or not to include the cigarette.

One Eyed Willie. Sloth love Chunk...

There is no way to segue from talking about eye patches and big boy beds into talking about Mayfair. Well,  I'm sure there is but I'm creatively tapped out right now having just spent the past half hour looking at hotel bed jumping pictures and reading up on how to keep a penguin in your house. 

Have you read this article? Get ready to crap your pants. 

I have to be honest. I'm not the crunchy, organic hippie-type but this freaks me out especially since I use this brand frequently with my kids. I understand that my veins are probably coated with Teflon at this point but when it comes to my offspring I actually try to be conscientious of what goes into their pristine little systems most of the time. Did you know that we have a resource for this stuff right in the neighborhood? MBA member, Stan's Health Food Store at 7161 Frankford Ave sells organic bath and body products along with vitamins and other healthy lifestyle products. I'll be heading there directly to get some stuff for my dirty little munchkins! 

If you're going to Stan's Health Foods make sure to wear flowers in your formaldehyde-free shampooed hair.
While I'm out celebrating what a fabulous, earth conscious citizen I am, I'll probably stop by Torresdale Flowers to say "hi" to Antoniette and to pick up her special of a dozen red roses for $19.99. Get one for your wife, significant other, or your boss. God knows you need all the help you can get! Visit the website here so you can browse the beautiful bouquets! Torresdale Flowers
Flowers. The non-verbal acknowledgement that you effed up.

I'll probably also need a cash infusion after shopping at Stan's and Torresdale Flowers so of course I'll go to my bank, see my favorite teller Nancy, get lollipops for my kids (DumDums--not organic--see I'm not THAT crazy hippie). Viriva's holding a Flea Market for Charity on Sunday, September 30, 2012 from 10AM until 3PM at their Warminster (157 York Road  Warminster, PA 18974) branch. I'll do a separate post about this to include all the info Viriva CCU gave me so mark your calendars and stay tuned!

That's a LOT of running around and I'm burning a lot of gas! I hope I'm one of the weekly winners of the $50 or $100 free gas gift card at Mayfair Shop N Bag. There's one $100 winner weekly and 4 $50 winners! See the store for details!

And finally, I'll need a place to kick back and gloat over my shopping spoils. The Grey Lodge Pub fits that bill perfectly. As always, Quizzo is a mainstay on Wednesday nights at 8pm, second floor, teams of 4. You should know this by heart now! I do!!
The GL is also celebrating Friday, August 31, from 6pm – 9pm a little event that they are calling "19: It's Not Just a Breakfast Number Anymore". I had no idea what this meant so I Googled it. I'm assuming it's in reference to the discontinued Kellogg's Product 19 cereal which I have a very vague recollection of now that I've seen a picture. 
Scoats may or may not be dating himself with this reference.

Apparently now, it's a beer number too AND it's a Pre-Prohibition style lager. Sounds like the perfect beer to celebrate the fact that the new season of 'Boardwalk Empire" will soon be upon us. While the cereal and Batch 19 beer may share some things in common (made of grains, consumption by humans, very limited availablity) last time I checked, cereal won't get you drunk which is actually VERY unfortunate and would be extremely cost effective (at least for me). 

Scoats and the crew will have Colorado's Batch 19 on tap. Since the beer is backed by Miller-Coors you can bet your sweet grain-filled behind there will be swag giveaways and goodies as well. "Worry not! The beer is tasty!" quoteth Scoats to the beer snobs who are as particular as the organic, crunchy-granola set when it comes to beer (Main difference? Armpit hair ratios.).  So stop by, buy a pint, keep the glass and play Batch 19 Blackjack to win even MORE prizes!! But don't get in over your head lest Nucky Thompson has to stop by and make an example out of you. We all saw what happened to Jimmy. Look out Margaret, you might be next.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

This Week in Mayfair (8/20/12)--The Deja Vu post

Getting together with friends for a drunken blow-out is always a good vacation from the typical day-to-day drudgery of work, home, kids, and spouses. It also helps, at least temporarily, in helping to forget the lyrics of the "Mighty Machines" theme song and decreasing the impulse to point out every police car, firetruck, ambulance, truck and "racing" car (read: anything red to a 2-year old boy) with a desperate falsetto in an attempt to distract your kids from trying to unbuckle their car seat and fling themselves out of the car. Apparently, one day I'll miss this. (???)

  So in case you didn't know, this weekend we had my college friend Jess' bachelorette party which is sort of why this post is as late as it is. I'm surprisingly not as hungover as I thought I might be, but the sleep deprivation thing KILLS me anymore. I've always been an "I need 8 hours or I'll kill someone" type of girl. My brain is so fuzzy and uncoordinated right now I might as well be hungover. We hit up a whiskey bar ($5 shot and a beer specials are everyone's best frenemy--woo-hoo!!), sang karaoke at Yakatori Boy (Did you know, when I'm drunk, I sound JUST LIKE Adele, Lady Gaga, and Beyonce? Effing amazing!!), 
Ermahgerd karaoke ternerght!
 and then to Fado where we redeemed our tarnished reputations (last time we were all there was a St. Patrick's Day eons ago. We were there starting at 2pm after pre-gaming (of course), Guinness, Red Bull and vodkas abounded, and I'm pretty sure we shut the bar down. It was not a pretty sight. *Hangs head in shame*). However, I'm happy to report that we were the poster girls for happy, good drunken fun and danced the night away once the DJ decided to play "Bust A Move" and circa-1990 to1999 hip hop for the rest of the night. I'm pretty sure we also had several long conversations composed of just " Dumb and Dumber" quotes, which is not at all unusual for us but apparently draws frightened stares from people when you're running down Broad Street shrieking "We got no food, we got no jobs....our pet's HEADS are falling off!!" Relax people....move along...nothing to see here.... 
Of course, it always devolves into drunken remembrances of carefree days with absolutely no responsibility and what you felt were the "priorities" in life. (I'm sorry, I can't take that 2 o clock class...Days of Our Lives is on.  I have 3 classes in ONE day? That's 3 HOURS?? WTF?? I have to change my schedule!! I can't take that MUCH work.). That and scrounging for change in your apartment because you needed that last $5 to go buy a keg. And when you found that forgotten, crumpled bill in the back pocket of last weekend's bar outfit it was like finding El Dorado. To the caaaaaaar! Shotgun!  
You also start reminiscing about all the crazy crap you did together, the mistakes, and walks of shame made by members the crew (OMG, remember when you hooked up with so and so? Nope. No, I don't. But that's why I have you jerks to remind me of that not-so-proud moment....EVERY. TIME). And of course there were the nicknames you gave to the other people that only you and your friends know them by. I've changed them slightly to protect the innocent or not so innocent; Googly Eyes and the Muppet, Rick the Rapist (Not a rapist in the least. Long story though.), Big Head Hannah (It's like an orange on a toothpick! said in my best Mike Myers' "So I Married an Axe Murderer" Scottish accent), Random Cocaine Boy (No need to protect anyone there. He was exactly what his name implies.) Good times, good times....
I wish I thought of this.
 So now that I'm back into the world of the sober, responsible people (HA! I crack myself up!) what can I do besides hope that I win the Powerball eventually? (Obviously, I didn't this past week. Apparently, God likes me poor. It builds "character" or some such crap).
Alright, so I'm not hungover (Debatable. I'm too tired to really tell.) but I'm still feeling the need for a little R&R. I need Avenue Chiropractic and a good massage! AnneMarie and Avenue Chiropractic are asking people to "like" them on Facebook and you will receive a clip less coupon  for $5 off any one hour massage just for being their friend. You can also get a hot stone massage (YES PLEASE!) from Megan if you are so inclined! Sounds like a winner! Here's the link to their Facebook page. Avenue Chiropractic
 Have you checked out Headquarters yet, one of our newest MBA members?  They have a Facebook page too where Bill and Adam regularly update with a lot of the cool merchandise they get in! Join them here at Headquarters .
Let me get back to the subject of drunken nights. The Grey Lodge pub I'm sure hosts it's wild drunken blow-outs. How do I know this? It's a BAR. Join them for their next, probably more cerebral party, on Wednesday night starting at 8pm. Quizzo. Second floor. Bring 3 friends. Bring 3 hot friends and let's make it a real party. You don't by chance know the United States male swim team do you? I have some laundry that needs a couple of washboards and some roofies that need homes. Wait...did I say that out loud? I mean, they're really smart and don't deserve to be drugged or objectified for their bodies, just their brains.....their beautiful ripped brains. 
 Aaaaannd if you still want your kids to go to college, Mike Perzel of the Perzel Agency is still giving you the opportunity to help them pay for it. Here's the link for that too! My College Benefit
However, here's some images that might convince you into keeping them home under lock and key instead of allowing them to attend our grand institutions of higher learning (a.k.a 2-4 year expensive party).

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

This Week in Mayfair (8/20/12) aka The Lesser Version

Well, a big fat middle finger to my computer, or Blogger or whatever caused the post that I carefully and hilariously constructed to be completely lost into the void of cyberspace. So glad I took 2 hours and stayed up a little later than usual to look for hilarious photos and regale you with stories of the bachelorette party I went to this past weekend and college remembrances. It was quite funny (of course) but now it's gone.

So here's the quick and dirty rundown of what's going on in Mayfair this week so you won't be completely lost. I just don't have the mental energy to recreate the blog fragments of hilarity in my brain right now because I'm too busy being furious and frustrated at the whole situation. That post was my own personal emotional Horcrux and the interwebs ate it...damn you Harry Potter!! Sad face emoticon.....

Grey Lodge--Quizzo--Wednesdays at 8pm--2nd Floor--you know the drill! All nerds on deck and report to battle stations.

If you visit Avenue Chiropractic's Facebook Page and "Like" them you'll get a clip less coupon for $5 off a massage. Ask for Megan who does a fabulous hot stone massage or one of the other girls! Anne Marie will help you with all the details. Visit them here at Avenue Chiropractic.

Make sure you also "Like" Headquarters Facebook page as well. Adam and Bill regularly update it with all the cool stuff they get in and there are plenty of photos of art they are also working on. Headquarters.

Mike Perzel wants your kids to go to college. I had pictures that gave you insight into what they'll actually be doing there (drinking, sex, drinking) instead of what you're paying them to go for (studying, pizza parties, holding hands with the opposite sex). Now you'll never know! Alright, here's a couple:

I don't know what this is but I want to be a part of it.

Yup. Did this.

If you still want them to go, here's some college scholarship info which frees up more money for beer...I mean books.  College Scholarship.

Monday, August 13, 2012

This Week in Mayfair (08/14/12)

Well now that I've personally unburdened myself via a blog that technically isn't mine I feel much better. Ahhhh! Emotional cleansing via blogging is very therapeutic at times. At least when it's my soul cleansing. But if it's anybody else? Please stop your public whining, freak. No one cares and consider changing the title of your blog to "The Shit Nobody but Me, My Mom, and my cat-lady Aunt Hilda Care About". Actually, I'm stealing that! Dibbers! Yipee!!!

Who doesn't want this in their life??
 For those of you who don't have children and are still living the dream Lucky 13 Brewing Club is meeting this Tuesday at the Grey Lodge Pub at 7:30pm (actually by the time I post's too late--put it on your empty calendar for next month..oops!) and then there's Quizzo on Wednesday starting at 8pm. Yeah. Enjoy that while I'm at home going back into my kid's rooms for the 5th straight time to chase monsters out from underneath the bed or to keep my 2-year old from attempting to push the air conditioning unit out the window where it will subsequently land on the top of my minivan.

Yup. Justifiable homicide in my book.
I suppose being a bar owner is a bit like having kids. I mean, patrons invade your "house", drink, eat, get sticky, vomit on your floor (or if your lucky, out front). They also have terrible aim while intoxicated and probably pee all over everything, just like toddlers. They also get loud and attempt to awkwardly dance (some of them know how, most of them don't). Lucky for Scoats and the GL staff, there is a closing time where they can force everyone out the door, lock it and go home for the night without having to worry about how they are getting home. If I tried that DHS would be knocking on my door the next day. So basically the only thing that needs to be added to the mix is for me to walk in and throw a box full of goldfish crackers on the floor, walk up to Scoats, wipe my peanut butter covered face on his sleeve while screaming at him to make the TV's play "Sesame Street" on demand. I can make that happen!

Should you happen to allow your children to live to the age where they can attend college (the jury's still out on my youngest based on today's behavior) of course you'll want a scholarship. Mike Perzel at The Perzel Agency has some info for you on how to help. Visit this website to find out more!
No 529 for you kid.
 Finally, there are 2 very family friendly events happening this week in Mayfair. If you take your kids you might get nice notes like these:

On Tuesday night (8/14/12), the Friends of Mayfair Memorial Playground are holding a fundraiser at the Frankford and Cottoman Rita's Water Ice from 6pm-10pm. A percentage of the sales from that night go towards continuing efforts to rebuild and add new equipment! Bring the kiddies out for a sweet treat and get one for yourself (you can add booze right to them after purchase and AFTER you've responsibly driven your happy children home, placed them safely and lovingly into bed and said your nightly prayers.) Mix the mango with tequila. You won't be least that's what friends of mine have told me you can do. I don't know...I've never done it.

And on Wednesday, August 15, 2012, Representative Kevin Boyle is holding a family movie night at the Mayfair Community Center (2990 St. Vincent St). They're screening "Puss in Boots" starting at 8pm so grab the kids, a blanket, some lawn chairs (maybe some of that leftover Rita's Water Ice from Tuesday night? *nudge, nudge*) and come out for this free event!

Just Say "No" to Kids

Mayhem. Don't let the cuteness fool you.
I have a confession to make. There are many words that many people use to describe their children; magical, adorable, or even precocious. The only word that comes to mind today while describing my  2-year-old? A-hole.

Not that he's not all of the above on any given day, but I would say that it's about a 30/70 split on most days. He can do the cutest things in the world like give me an unsolicited "I wuv you, mommy" while looking at me with big blue eyes but then turn around and oh, I don't know, attempt to kill himself by jumping from the top step of my staircase while I rush up the steps to catch his falling body because he "want to try and fwy wike Iwon Man." *Face-palm*

Today we went to the zoo which always seems to be the scene of some of the most epic meltdowns. Actually you can insert any public place with a lot of people into where "zoo" is and it will work; church, grocery store, you name it. Today, he had a meltdown when I asked him what he wanted for lunch (he didn't want to eat and opted instead to wander around with the pack of geese begging other people for food), when I went to change his diaper (there were flies in the bathroom that were flying in his face while he tried to squirm his way off the changing table and into a major head injury. Completely delusional. There were no flies near his face.) and when I tried to strap him into his stroller (he wanted to wander away and get kidnapped and I prefer him to be alive and living with us instead of under some crazy person's staircase.) I KNOW! Can I be more unreasonable??

Are you thinking of having kids? My advice today? DON'T. If you have kids. Sorry, suckers. I'm there with you on being sold a crap piece of real estate. "Oh My are soooooo great! They're awesome!!" said all your friends who had kids. Amirite?? Effing jerks. They KNEW kids were troublesome, belligerent little midgets who eat your food and laugh at your tears. They WANTED you to be as miserable as THEY are. What do I want for my birthday? A time machine so I can go back to when my parents asked my husband and I what we wanted for a wedding gift and I can change my answer from "A combination quesedilla/margarita maker" to "a his and hers sterilization kit."

I wish I wrote the following lessons. I'm jealous and pissed that I didn't think of it first actually and want to be best friends with the author. My kind of sick humored individual. If you are thinking of having kids I strongly recommend that you read the following advice and really get an understanding of what you're committing to. If you have kids, I strongly recommend that you read the following because it will probably make you wet your pants with laughter. I distinctly remember laughing so hard I was crying when I read about taking the goats to the supermarket. For those of you who have opted not to have children, you're brilliant and I hate you. Have fun eating a hot meal, going out on a whim, and completing a book within less than a year. Please also enjoy the old age home that the state will put you in after you break a hip in the shower and slip into a coma since you won't have any asshole children to make that decision for you. Too harsh? Well excuse my bitterness because you didn't have to prevent your 2-year old son from trying to climb out the top of the Ferris wheel cart in Ocean City while it was at it's highest effing point. True story. With the death wish this kid has, I should have named him Charles Bronson. Anyway, enjoy.

11 Step Program for those thinking about having kids.

Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2
 Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3
 A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4
 Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5
 Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6
 Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7
 Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9
 Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10
 Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

So in light of all I've learned (or not learned apparenlty), next year we're planning on going to Disney World with my whole family. I'm already packed and I'm traveling light; sunscreen, boxed wine, Jack Daniels and several bottles of anti-anxiety meds and muscle relaxers. Happiest place on earth? You bet your ass.

Monday, August 6, 2012

This Week in Mayfair (08/06/2012)

I'm the monster. Apparently my husband is wearing a dress.
I admit it. I'm pretty much the worst wife ever right now. I forgot my husband's birthday for the SECOND year in a row. Last year I just flat out forgot until 10:00pm the night of his birthday which explained why he was semi-depressed and despondent all day. I literally floated through that day probably in a haze of sleep deprivation and self absorption and didn't look at a calendar until oh, about 9:58 that night. At that point, I tore down the stairs and screamed "BABE!! It's YOUR birthday!!!"  He looked at me and said "No s**t." Ugh. Shot to the heart. This year, I knew it was coming but I switched watches recently and forgot to change the date to reflect that June only had 30 days instead of 31 (I know. I know. Apparently, this appears to be  part of a larger disorganized pattern). Welcome to my life.

This morning we were making breakfast for the whole clan down the shore when his mother walked up to hug him and say  happy birthday to him. I gasped, turned to him and said "I forgot again." He replied, "2 for 2...3rd time's a charm." Gaahhhhhhh!! Of course I didn't give birth to him so am I really obligated to remember? Alright, I'm a horrid forgetful girl.

So how do I make it up to him? Well there's the obvious solutions, several of which are probably inappropriate to mention here. Actually, they're probably ALL inappropriate to mention....

So we'll go with the family friendly version:

1. Flowers.
Obviously, I'm heading right to Antoniette and Torresdale Flowers to make a huge 'Sorry, I'm an A-Hole" bouquet. Just an FYI, if you aren't a fan of Torresdale Flowers on Facebook yet, make sure you "like" the shop. She routinely puts up pictures of some of the gorgeous arrangements she's made. Most recently up is her prom photo gallery which you can see here: Weddings and Proms. This is one of my favorites;

...or maybe this one.

Gah!! They're all so pretty it's hard to choose.Which one will the hubs like best I wonder? Oh yeah, probably this one
Antoniette? Special order please.

2. Free Beer
So in case you didn't know, Tuesday August 7, 2012 is National Night Out. Great, says you, get to the free beer part. Ok, ok..but first the feel-good part; Mayfair Town Watch is hosting a family friendly event starting at 7:30pm at the intersection of Frankford and Cottman. There will be water ice provided by Councilman Henon, glow sticks and other free goodies and entertainment for the kids. Then you can participate in a Flashlight Walk down to Harbison Ave located right by the Grey Lodge. Here's the beer part, so pay attention. Scoats at the Grey Lodge has generously offered any Flashlight Walker a free 8oz beer or soft drink after completion of the walk. How awesome is that? A great family friendly event for the kids and a free beer at the end of it! Have a blast!!

Visit their Facebook page for more information here. Mayfair Town Watch National Night Out.

There really will be free beer. Depending on how much the bartenders consume, they may be topless later.

3. A night out with the boys, beer, free cake and 16 year olds (what?)
The hubs routinely gets this anyway with his friends however several more are due to him as a make-up birthday gift. And since I routinely forget his birthday, I'm sure I could get him drunk enough and then convince him I rented out the entire Grey Lodge to throw him a belated b-day celebrationSo I'll suggest Quizzo on Wednesday night at the GL or even their "Sweet (and Sour) 16" celebration on Saturday, August 11, 2012 from 5-7pm. The Grey Lodge is turning 16!! OMGZZZ! Like awesome!! To celebrate they're putting on tap several famous and rare sour beers including Allagash Vrienden, Dogfish Head Festina Peche, Goose Island Sophie, Ithaca White Gold, Jolly Pumpkin TBA, Petrus Aged Pale Ale, Round Guys Wild Eyes, Russian River Supplication, Vicaris Triple Gueuze, and Victory Wild Devil Bottles: Cantillon.

Also make sure you find and wear your oldest Grey Lodge t-shirt. There will be a big prize for the oldest Grey Lodge shirt. Or wear ANY of your many GL shirts for there will be prizes for that as well. And in the off chance, you don't have a GL t-shirt (nudity is your thing? not judging.) there will be a special 16th Anniversary shirt for sale. There will be free cake from Haegel's Bakery and live music from Huge Jackman.   

I'm off now to set the biggest effing reminder you can find RIGHT NOW for next year and plan some sort of huge blow-out to make up for the past 2 years. I fully expect my birthday to be forgotten in retribution and I admittedly deserve it. I'll just cry more.

Sunday, August 5, 2012

College Scholarship Opportunity!!

Mike Perzel from The Perzel Agency wants to share this information with all of you!

Contact: Michael Joseph

Keystone Rewards Scholarship Available for Pennsylvania StudentsBuilding a Stronger Pennsylvania, One Child at a Time

PHILADELPHIA, PA – The Keystone Rewards Scholarship offers students who are residents of Pennsylvania a FREE scholarship to reduce their tuition in nearly 300 private colleges and universities nationwide, including 51 education institutions in Pennsylvania.

The Keystone Rewards Scholarship is a benefit provided to Pennsylvania residents at no cost to the student or their family. The Scholarship is based on a point system, where each point is worth $1.00 toward tuition reduction; there is no cash involved. Students who register for the scholarship will receive 500 points and $500 off full tuition at participating schools.

Pennsylvania State Representative John Taylor (R-Philadelphia) has acknowledged the enormous burden college tuition puts on Pennsylvania students and families. “College tuition places an enormous burden on Pennsylvania families – the Keystone Rewards Scholarships are designed to assist in alleviating that burden and helping create a brighter future for our students. The Keystone Rewards Scholarship program is building a stronger Pennsylvania – one child at a time,” says Taylor.

Registration is easy. Participants must be enrolled no later than August 31st of the year the student begins 11th Grade; students can be enrolled as early as the day they are born. Parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc., can become a sponsor and register any extended family member by going to Students are NOT eligible if they have started 11th Grade, or any grade higher. There are no exceptions.

A student also must be a current Pennsylvania resident in order to qualify. Each child may be registered only once for the Keystone Reward Scholarship.

Additional information is available at