Monday, November 5, 2012

This Week in Mayfair (11/5/12)

Depending on how this election goes and if your "guy" wins there of COURSE will be some crazy ideas out what's going to happen to the future of the country.  Even though I make most of my real political decisions by reading primary sources and looking at voting records where they exist (I know!! Who does that?), if I didn't have ANY kind of actual ability to research things myself, you can bet your ass I would look to that modern melting pot of knowledge and intelligence. Clearly, I'm talking about Facebook and Twitter.  Many of us have been "forced"  to essentially read on Facebook everyone and their mom's political opinions (I mean, I blocked my GRANDMOM, for JC's sake.) So what have I learned?  I've made the following assumptions about the candidates based on FB (yay, witty memes!) and Twitter (#cantwaittilthisiseffingover). So here goes:

People who hate Obama will continue to believe:
1. Obama's first act as a second term president will be to declare his allegiance to China and allow them to annex half of the country. Go Team Communism!!
2. He's was NEVER an American citizen. (We know it's beating a dead horse, but we need to see another copy of that birth certificate, Mr. President).
3. There's a secret room hidden under the Oval Office desk where Obama goes to worship Allah.
4. Donald Trump is a fame-whore moron.

 People who hate Romney will believe:
1. Romney's first act as President will be to build a huge storage area on the White House lawn to store all the female vaginas and uterus' (uteri??) that they now "own". MWAHAHAHAHA!
2. Babies will be allowed to own and shoot guns.
3. Women will be chained to their stoves and expected to dress and act like Donna Reed or the Stepford Wives.
4. Donald Trump is a fame-whore moron.

The Grey Lodge Pub is extending an invitation for you to join them on Election Night to watch the results with all three Yards Brewing Ales of the Revolution;  Gen. Washington Porter, Thomas Jefferson Tavern Ale, and Poor Richard’s Tavern Spruce. There will be a ballot box where you can vote for your favorite Ale of the Revolution. Voting enters you to win some prizes from the brewery. A group of Yards folks will be bar crawling, decked out in red, white, and blue, giving out shirts and other election night goodies. Exercise your rights as an American to go toe up on election night and chalk it up to nerves about your candidate winning. Continue your jubilation or drown your sorrows on Wednesday night at Quizzo. However we ask you to keep your sobbing and/or orgasmic political sounds to yourself as other people are trying to hear the questions being asked. 

Think the country is going to the dogs based on the outcome? Come tell us about it on Saturday at the first Mayfair Dog Park Fundraiser and we'll give you the floor. We're working to create a dog park, hopefully two (one at each end of the neighborhood) for all of our 4-legged friends to cavort around in and sniff each others behinds (kind of like Washington D.C. but with fur).  To help further this, the Mayfair dog park committee are having a fund raiser on the GLP's 2nd floor. $15 for 3 hours of tasty Grey Lodge food. Cash bar (Sorry but c'mon! It's for the doggies!!). There will be a 50/50 and baskets to bid on. RSVP here on Facebook or just show up...I'll let you in (I'm on the committee)! All proceeds from this event go towards helping pay for our filing for 501c3 status which allows us to go after corporate grants. Please help us!

Bailey, our beautiful mascot, playing with her owner.

If you get me a Mayfair Dog Park, I'll let you scratch my belly.

I'm so sad I don't have a dog park in Mayfair.

Meeeeee toooooo.


Anonymous said...

Which 3 hours is the fundraiser?

Scoats said...

Sorry about that. It's 3 to 6pm.