Monday, April 29, 2013

This Week In Mayfair (4/29/13)

Let me give you a little back story. My family moved around a lot when we were younger.  I was born in Philly but when I was 2 we moved to Iowa, then to Indiana, then Massachusetts and finally back to Philly when I was starting my freshman year of high school. Upon hearing that, most people assume my dad was military which isn't true; he was a college professor which I guess is like being in the military because you move around like nomads. My parents, who were apparently on crack and completely insane used to drive 18 hours straight through from Indiana to Philadelphia on most Christmas holidays and every summer with 4 kids and a dog.

Bye!! Well aware, we're fully insane!! Get in the car kids!
There were no seat belt laws back then so they used take the row of seats out, throw the 4 of us in the back of our Dodge Ram with a queen mattress and let us bounce around the whole trip. Our cocker spaniel, Lady, was also unluckily relegated to the back and by hour 17 of the trip she would have the four of us cornered in the back the van snarling at us if we even tried to move. We'd try to tell my parents but they were either a)ignoring us,  b) beyond caring or c) all of the above.

F**k this! I'm driving. You two get in the back with the kids.
They weren't drunk (I think) and I honestly don't know HOW they didn't stop to imbibe at least a little. I can barely make it through one day in my house with my 2 kids without wanting to take shots at lunchtime, much less driving for 18 hours through the very non-scenic Heartland (ooh look! a cornfield!) with 4 animals and one dog. So instead they would tell us crazy stories to pass the time. I can't really get into all of them but I'll give you the most memorable one that at least Philly people can relate to as an example of my parent's deep and sick sense of humor. Here goes...

One of the big indicators to us that we were nearing the end of our 18-hour ordeal on the way to my Grandomom's house in Fishtown, was passing Manayunk. Usually it was at night and the large antennae were all lit up. You know the ones I'm talking about...there's about maybe 6 or 7 of them. When we were little it seemed like there were at least a hundred of them and at that point in the trip, they looked like the promised land to us. My parents told us that they were part of an antennae farm; that's where ALL the antennaes in the United States were grown and when they were full grown they'd replant them wherever an antennae was needed and then start the process all over again. Being gullible and stupid children and just a little bit desperate for the trip to be over with, we believed them probably until I was about 8 years old. To this day my brother and sisters and I STILL refer to it as the "Antennae Farm".

 As it ALWAYS is in life, any and all traces of weirdness and our pitch black sense of humor is clearly our parent's fault.

(**Total aside but still a funny story: It's also why my brother JP told my sister Marianne that there was a witch that lived in the toilet and that if she sat down on it the witch would jump up out of the hole and grab her ass and pull her down into the toilet. She peed her pants for awhile until my parents found out what my brother was telling her. Safe to say he got in trouble and that was also the day that my sister Marianne learned an important lesson about snitching.  She came running into the house crying saying to my mom "JP said he's going to BURY me!!" Sure enough, my mother looked out the window to see my brother happily digging a grave in the backyard.Good times, good times....)

Snitches get ditches.

So anyway enough about me and my crazy family...let's talk MAYFAIR!! Woot woot!!

Farmers Market this Sunday, 9am to 1pm!! Lots of starter plants to sell. produce and other crafts and goodies! It's going to be a gorgeous day so bring the kids out!!!

This weeks vendors are:
Cardinal Hollow Winery
Tastefully Simple
Grateful Acres Farms
Wild Flour
Philly Dog Biscuit Company
Sterns Farms
Cheyenne Roat Market
Great Awakenings Coffee
ShopN Bag
Tacony Gear

Jimmies Cupcake Co.
Chewy's Food Truck
Head to Bow
Steel Your Idea
Musical Groups
10am--Anthony Viscounte
11am--Problem Solving
12pm--Shouting at Satellites 

The Grey Lodge also has a busy week ahead!!
Taco Tuesday!! Wednesday Quizzo!! And then not one, but TWO beer events!!!

Friday, May 3, 2013 from 6pm to 9pm
Shittel Load of Sixtels from Dogfish Head!!  On Tap: Dogfish Head 2012 Worldwide Stout 
Dogfish Head Namaste 
Dogfish Head Robert Johnson Hellhound on My Ale 
Dogfish Head My Antonia 
Dogfish Head Bitches Brew 
Dogfish Head Immort Ale 

Then same bat time, same bat channel (May 3, 2013 from 6pm to 9pm--duh) Gregory Heller will be selling and signing copies of his new book, "Ed Bacon: Planning, Politics, and the Building of Modern Philadelphia". Accoring to the GLP website "Edmund Bacon through his work as city planner had a huge impact on the Philadelphia we know today. Bacon impacted every section of the city. Some of the results of Bacon's work were great, some less so. Besides being famous in his own right, Edmund Bacon was also the father of actor Kevin Bacon. By buying this book, you might bring yourself within one degree of Kevin Bacon. Or maybe not. Either way, this story of Philadelphia's somewhat recent history is a pretty fascinating subject." Go git some edumacation!!!

YOU! You need to get to the GLP and buy that book about my dad.

And don't forget...Mother's Day is on the horizon!! Start thinking about all the flowers, gifts, make-overs and jewelry you could be buying from all your friendly neighborhood MBA members!! We'll talk about that soon!

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