Sunday, March 4, 2012

This Week in Mayfair (03/05/12)

Ah, March. You bring so many wonderful things to Mayfair. Spring, bunnies, flowers and bar crawls. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the good people of Mayfair have survived the storm of the Shamrock Shuttle. Brace for the Erin Express next weekend. But honestly, the worst is over at this point (we hope).

Luckily, I got to experience this alcohol soaked, mayhem first-hand. I was wearing my Mayfair Town Watch hat that day patrolling like the good and responsible citizen-soldier that I am with my fellow Town Watchers. In a previous post, I had said that my first time on town watch I would dress like William Wallace from "Braveheart". Remember that? Of course you do, my little stalkers. You remember every word I write. Well, I would sadly like to report that I didn't dress like William Wallace (kilt was in the cleaners and he's Scottish. Inappropriate.) however, I would not have been out of place at all or probably not even given a sideways glance from some of the revelers. Let's pretend for a moment that we were aliens visiting Mayfair from outer space observing the Shamrock Shuttle to gain a better understanding of the customs of St. Patrick's Day. This would be my list:

1. Consume mass quantities of alcohol and cigarettes cause damn, you're 22, you don't get hungover (yet) and you and your lungs are invincible. Plus, you need something to suppress the appetite because all you have in your stomach is Red Bull. OMG! Let's do shots of WHISKEY!! **projectile vomit on your best friend and the ground in front of you**

2. Why pay to participate in Shuttle revelry when you can park your car along Frankford Ave, put a cooler filled with beer in your trunk, and dress your obviously black-Irish dog in a Kensington Irish t-shirt (someone call the SPCA), and then proceed to hit on every drunk lassie that comments on your puppy? Everyone knows dogs are drunk-girl kryptonite. Pure genius.

3. Alcohol makes you think you can dart across traffic in front of cars and you'll win. Seriously, it was like watching live-action "Frogger". Everyone was in green and at least one little froggy lost. I wish you a quick recovery, poor silly boy-froggy.

4. Traditional Irish garb consists of anything and everything green in the following forms (and most likely all on one girl); booty shorts, suspenders, a half-top, a corset top with the laces in green, orange and white (duh), knee-high green and white stockings, hooker heels, kilts, feather boas, green tutus, shirts with traditional, witty Irish sayings like "Drunk 1", "Irish Today, Hungover Tomorrow" and "Leprechauns Made Me Do It". Praise St. Patrick that it was a little bit colder because I was waiting to see Shamrock pasties on someone. Ooh wait, I should sell those next year. MY idea, cretins! I call intellectual property rights!!!

Soak these Shuttle images in my wild Irish roses while listening to this song. Just not at work, you'll probably get fired.

It was an event that would have James Joyce, William Butler Yeats, St. Patrick, and all of our Irish ancestors who came here to avoid starvation and oppression, weep for the future. Oscar Wilde, on the other hand, would have been all over that sh*t and probably sporting shamrock pasties himself. That being said, it was highly entertaining people-watching and for the most part was a relatively calm event. Most people were cooperative, out to have a good time, and were overall respectful. Many thanks and kudos need to be given to Joe DeFelice and the members of the Mayfair Civic Association for coordinating a plan with several of the participating bar owners (including MBA member Hammerheads), Milt Martelack, president of the Mayfair Town Watch and the Town Watch members who patrolled the area, and Captain Frank Bachmayer and the officers of the 15th Police District for their presence and cooperation. Big thanks also to photographer John Leong for all the images of the Shuttle featured on today's site. I'll be bringing you some more choice little tidbits throughout the week so stay tuned for more green debauchery.

So now that I'm done paying homage to the Shuttle what else is going on in the fine neighborhood? As usual, Scoats and the good people of The Grey Lodge Pub are hosting Quizzo on Wednesday night at 8pm. I won't be able to go because I'll be too busy working on a prototype pastie so you absence will guarantee your victory. Enjoy it because I'll be back with a vengeance next week.

I'm not sure if Mike Perzel is Irish but you know what? Everyone's Irish when you wear green during the month of March! Test your Irish luck by getting a quote on your personal insurance at the Perzel Agency; Auto, Home, Renters, Life. You'll also receive a $5.00 Wawa Gift Card and here's where the real luck part come in; you will also be entered to win 2 PHILLIES TICKETS; great seats Section 131, Row 5 (game to be determined). No Purchase Neccessary must be 18 years or older. Just make sure you mention the MBA! All MBA members also qualify for a $25.00 Amazon Gift Card for getting a quote on your Business Insurance.

I would like to wish a very special 13th anniversary to BellaLisa Hair Studios. 13 years old! Congratulations to Lisa Greco and her staff on reaching this milestone. Unfortunately, BellaLisa is currently grounded for missing her curfew (i wuz @Carrie's house), going over her texting limits (tbh, u suck), and mouthing off to her mother (;P). She's sulking it out in her room, trying on different eye make-up, dreaming about dating that boy her parent's hate, and wishing her braces were gone (and her parents, duh. H8 them!!! gawd!!).

Our featured Mayfair Merchant, Viriva Community Credit Union is spreading the good Irish cheer with their Loan Rate Discount Program that includes a discount for new members. Members can now receive rate discounts (up to 0.75% APR*) on their next Signature or Auto loan. Visit Viriva CCU's Lending Page at to check out other available discount options. *Restrictions apply; click here for complete details. Becoming a member is easy... simply open a savings account with a minimum deposit of just $5.00 to join Viriva Community Credit Union!

Here's another picture before I go. HA! His mother must be so proud. *sigh*


meltee said...

Makes Mardi Gras in New Orleans look like a Puritan prayer meeting.

Mia said...

good lord! is it really that bad? i've never been to new orleans during mardi gras!