Monday, April 23, 2012

This Week in Mayfair (4/23/12)

I have been soooooooo unmotivated to write today it's disgusting. I kept stalling and procrastinating mainly because I didn't know what to write about. Then I was completely inspired at dinnertime and while getting the kids ready for bed.
What inspired what is soon to be one of the greatest blog posts of all times? Election Day. I'm not even kidding when I say over the past 4 hours I've gotten nothing short of 12 political calls. Ridiculous. I really don't get the point of them and I want to see the stats that say they are money well spent (I'm kidding. I really don't care.) Everyone I know either doesn't answer the phone or hangs up within the first couple of seconds. I will tell you what more money needs to be spent on though. POLITICAL COMMERCIALS. I. HEART. THEM.

The hubs and I make a game out of political commercials by coming up with the most horrible things to say about whatever opposition is being slammed at the moment. We would like to offer our services out to whatever political candidate has the cojones to hire us. I will preface this by saying that you will most likely have to defend and apologize for EVERYTHING we do but it will be a memorable and our goal is for your campaign to be over the top, ridiculous and of course for it to go viral.

Here's a sample of our potential work in writing of course, so let your imagination run wild. We couldn't get Scorsese on short notice so shut up.

"Joe Schmoe has been known to dangle puppies off of balconies and punch kittens in the face. Joe Schmoe also dabbled in smoking crack and raised most of the money for his campaign by giving personal lap dances to Big Pharma and Big Oil executives.
*Cue angel music from heaven*
Lou Blow is an ardent animal lover and would never punch a kitten in the face, even if Hitler was holding a gun to his head. Lou Blow admits that he did smoke crack once due to peer pressure but never inhaled. He then started an empowerment group to help others who also can't take personal responsibility for their own actions. Lou Blow spits on Big Pharma and rides a bike to work every day holding a banner that says "Big Oil can Suck my Rig".
Vote Lou Blow for President of the PTA

Guaranteed. Campaign. Win.

I'll tell you what though...we NEED this kid on our team. He's a genius.

You know what else is guaranteed? A blog post about This Week In Mayfair!! YAY!!

Well in case you didn't know it's Administrative Professionals Week and Antoinette at Torresdale Flowers has all kinds of beautiful bouquets and goodies to give to the person who makes you look like you actually know what you're doing at your job. We all know they are the glue and the foundation of your workplace. Make sure you show them your love by checking out the Torresdale Flower Shop website here and click on the Secretaries Week link to see great flower ideas to send to the Administrative Professional in your life!

Did you go to Rauchut's Tavern's "Name that Tune" contest on Saturday night? Well if you didn't Kate Rauchut gave me the lowdown on the typical week at Rauchut's. They have a TON of stuff happening!! Here's what she said:

"Sunday nights we have open mic' night from 7 till 11pm some of the finest musicians in the area come in and share with us their talents!
Monday nights we have $1 dogs from 7 pm till closing also do something we call Monday Marble Madness every time you purchase a drink after 7pm, you get to pick a marble out of a bucket and depending on the color, you could win a free drink, a free shots, $1 off a drink, or a try again marble.
Tuesday evenings after 7, we have $2 Twisted Teas.
Friday and Saturday Nights we have a domestic bucket special from 8 till 10, 5 bottles for $10. Saturday nights starting at 8pm we have "Name that Tune".
Friday and Saturday nights we have a DJ starting at 9pm. We feature $1.75 Budweiser Pints and PBR Pints all day everyday, and during Flyers(HAHA Crosby!! That was me, not Kate...I couldn't control myself)and Phillies games, we have $1.75 Bud and Bud Light Pints and $2.50 Bud and Bud Light bottles.
We also have a dart board and a shuffleboard that are always free to play and have ongoing leagues in both if anyone is ever interested in joining, they are welcome to stop in and sign up."

Basically Kate Rauchut just invited me to live in her bar full-time. Granted I'll have to stumble home every night to sleep but I may as well just start paying her rent.

It's a good thing I'll be staying at Rauchut's this week because all's quiet on the Grey Lodge front. The past couple of weeks have been cray cray for the GL and I'm thinking they might be taking a breather (good for need to burn out. Plus I'm sure they are cooking up their next awesomely themed day). Quizzo is still scheduled for Wednesday night of course so I'll be making a brief sojourn down to my regular table to regain my crown. See you there at 8 and BRING IT.

When I vote I think I'll actually do a write-in vote for Mike Perzel. I mean seriously, the guy is a true man of the people. He's holding a contest at The Perzel Agency to give away Phillies tickets (Section 131, Row 5--game to be determined) just for going in and getting a quote on your personal insurance (Auto, Home, Renters, Life) at the Perzel Agency. While there, don't forget your $5.00 Wawa Gift Card. Just make sure you mention the MBA! All MBA members also qualify for a $25.00 Amazon Gift Card for getting a quote on your Business Insurance. No Purchase Necessary must be 18 years or older. What's not to love about that?!

Well I'll be saying bu-bye to you suckers because by next week I'll be rubbing elbows with Karl Rove and the other dark lords of the Sith. I can't wait and I need to go find my menacing robes...I think they are at the cleaners. Screw it...I'll just by new ones with YOUR tax dollars! Mwwwwaaaauhahahaha!

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